Leadership Principle #7:  When you build up your critics, they tend to put you down less.
  “‘What was I able to do compared to you?’ When he said this, their anger against him subsided.” – Jdg 8:3b

I was shocked when I found out a colleague had criticized my abilities behind the scenes.

Quelling the desire to defend myself, I decided to try a technique I had just learned from Gideon.

In the book of Judges, Gideon marshals three hundred troops to chase the Midianite army, calling on surrounding tribes to assist. After a small victory of their own, some of the tribal chiefs complain about missing the glory of Gideon’s main battle.

The text says they criticize him “violently.” But rather than respond in kind, he says, “God gave Oreb and Zeeb, the Midianite leaders, into your hands. What was I able to do compared to you?” (Judges 8:3)

They want credit for a victory – any victory. When Gideon lifts up their accomplishments over his own, their jealousy and anger subside. When I tried this with my colleague, we reconciled and he agreed to avoid negative comments in the future.

Gideon’s method can be applied in two ways:

1. Identify their strengths. When we point out the strengths of a critic in meetings and one-on-one discussions with coworkers, it gets around that you think a lot of him, and he may feel a twinge of guilt when he criticizes you in the future. 
2. Ask for confidential criticism. Those who sling mud at me in public usually change their tune in private discussions. I’ve found a powerful question when I’m behind closed doors: “Is there anything I can do to improve?” Sometimes this yields a pointer I can actually benefit from, but it also takes wind away from the person’s public bashing.

When we ask for constructive criticism, we of course still have to practice gracious acceptance.

Even George Washington was criticized so harshly that he left the presidency vowing the press would never get a chance to abuse him again. Eventually, historians lauded him as the hero of American independence.

The great German resistance leader Von Moltke said, “You have in American history one of the great captains of all times. It might be said of him … that he seldom won a battle but he never lost a campaign.”

-- This post is from chapter 7 of Leading from the Lions' Den: Leadership Principles from Every Book of the Bible (B&H, 2010)